How to Live with a Meathead

May 1, 2009 § Leave a comment

An old article I thought was amusing….

How to Live with a Meathead

So I started dating this guy that seemed like the whole package. Once we moved in together, I realized there was a catch – my man is a meathead. The gym is his favorite place, there’s a well used mirror in every room, food doesn’t stay around long enough for me to enjoy it, the smell of protein shakes permeates the house, and if I hear, “Honey, look at my muscles” one more time, I will scream a scream that will be heard from coast to coast.

So why do I put up with it, you ask?  I fell for the guy – plain and simple. But that left me with the problem of figuring out how to live with all this meathead stuff. So let my misery be your salvation. If you are in this situation as well, here are my:

Top 10 Survival Techniques of Living with a Meathead

1. He Eats a Lot

There’s not much I can do about that.  So I have succumbed to the fact that I will have outrageous grocery bills and I need to have my own hiding place to store away food for myself to enjoy at a later time.

2. Speaking of Food…. 

He’s a health nut so by default, I am too.  Which is OK, since I’ve always been a pretty healthy person myself.  But here’s the thing – my life does not center around exercise, muscles, and not-too-many carbs.  I don’t want to constantly be compared to the muscle women in those magazines or the super skinny women on T.V.  It’s just never going to happen.  I eat well, I’m fit, I can wear tight clothes very well when I want to, and I like it that way.  But it’s all about compromise.  So here’s the deal.  He doesn’t compare me to those other women I’ll never look like no matter what I do, and I’ll make more of an effort to work out regularly.

3. Nutritional Supplements – 

Those huge, brightly colored containers that contain ingredients no human can even pronounce.  Again, the word compromise comes into play here.  The deal?  If he considers his body a temple, then stop ingesting potentially harmful fake crap.  After a little research and a lot of good points, he finally agreed with me on this one.  So no more huge containers of funky smelling powder – just one – plain old protein powder with nothing added.  I can deal with that.  I just squeeze it into a cabinet with the shelf knocked out so I don’t have to trip over it all day long.

4. Learn the Vocab

Foreign words:  Smith Machines, super sets, dead lifts.  If I have at least a vague idea of what all these new little “catch phrases” mean, then I can be more interested in what he is talking about.  Hey, at least we’re talking instead of an after dinner belch and a protein shake on the couch in front of the game.

5. The Dreaded Gym

Actually go to it.  It gives me a chance to see where he spends his time, have some time together, and hey – lots of buff eye candy with their shirts off walking around!  Not to mention, it makes him feel good to show off for his lady love, and the added “rush” can carry into other “physical” activities outside of the gym, if ya know what I mean…. Which brings me to #6…

6. Energy for Other Activities

Compromise #8,042.  I won’t complain about time spent at the gym, as long as there’s plenty of time and energy for me.  I want to see all those muscles put to good use!

7. Find the Right Form of Exercise

If I’m exercising more, then I need the right exercise for me.  I am easily bored with structured exercise, so I try to mix it up as much as I can.  Cardio machine one day, dance class another, activities outside, strength training, or one of my favorites, yoga.  And that increased flexibility can be put to good use to go with those other “physical” activities mentioned in tip #5!

8. Find New Ways to Spend Time Together

Since the gym isn’t my favorite place to be, he skips it on the weekend and we pick a different, healthy activity to do together: hiking, cross-country skiing, kayaking, etc.  It allows us to do something new, spend time together, open up new avenues for communication, have fun, and most importantly, do something that’s good for our bodies too.

9. The Mirrors

There’s not a whole lot I can do about this one, so I’ve learned to love them. Hey, they can make for some fun lighting techniques when the candles are lit….

10. Learn to Love the Muscles

Now when he says, “Hey honey, look at my muscles,” instead of gagging and rolling my eyes, I give those gigantic arms a tight squeeze, kiss those luscious lips, and remember how grateful I am that I can bounce a quarter off his stomach instead of sinking a beer cap into a belly.  I can save the eye rolling for the mirrors….


Advertisements

Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading How to Live with a Meathead at Silverpen Productions Blog.

meta

%d bloggers like this: